HOLIDAY MEMORIAL MESSAGE
When someone we love has passed, the "Year of Firsts" is the hardest to navigate. The first birthday without your loved one . . . the first Thanksgiving . . . the first Christmas . . . . When your beloved died, a hole the size of the Grand Canyon opened up in your heart. Until they departed, you probably never fully realized how much you loved them, or how much they did for you, and how very much you'd miss them.
And here it is - the dreaded "Holidays." People are walking around talking about the "holiday spirit," buying presents and stuffing turkeys and planning holiday meals and trips. Radios and department stores are blasting Christmas music. Look-alike Santas are making the rounds at shopping malls, and bell-ringers stand outside grocery stores, reminding you for the hundredth time that it is Christmas and you are supposed to be cheery, ho ho ho.
But you are not feeling cheery. You are still trying to manage that natural disaster other people call the death of your loved one.
Well, you can get through this. There is only one "Year of Firsts." After you've made the rounds of all the holidays in the annual calendar (and for heaven's sake, you probably never realized how many holidays there ARE in the course of a year!), it gets easier. You don't think it will, but it will. Each successive year gets just a TINY BIT easier.
Things will never again return to "normal," at least as you had come to define "normal." You have learned by now perhaps that you have to create a new "normal" without your Love. Is life lonelier and sadder without your loved one? Of course it is. Will life ever be the same? No. Can you go on and find some measure of peace and happiness again? Yes. We are resilient creatures. We will go on and recreate new lives, productive lives, and yes, happy lives at some point.
But probably not now. The loss is too fresh. It takes time to mourn, and time to heal. Allow yourself the space and time to grieve. Well-meaning family & friends may try to push you into something you are not ready to do. They may expect you to "move on," or "get over it," or they may insensitively dump their own grief on your shoulders - as if your shoulders are big enough to carry their grief AND yours.
Give them permission to be human. Forgive their well-meaning insensitivity. They probably really want to support you, and don't know quite how.
Most likely, you are doing one helluva job in keeping it all together, all things considered. I know it's not easy. But I hope you are crying - and laughing - when no one is looking, because you are creating a new life from the ashes of your old one, and no matter how many people you have around you, you are doing it alone.
I commend you.
This is the hardest time of year to be without your loved one. Just continue to hold them in your heart with great love; their energy bodies can feel your love, as it always has.
And please be extra gentle and kind to yourself, especially now. May you get through the holidays in as peaceful a manner as you can. Hopefully, next year will be a little easier.
And here it is - the dreaded "Holidays." People are walking around talking about the "holiday spirit," buying presents and stuffing turkeys and planning holiday meals and trips. Radios and department stores are blasting Christmas music. Look-alike Santas are making the rounds at shopping malls, and bell-ringers stand outside grocery stores, reminding you for the hundredth time that it is Christmas and you are supposed to be cheery, ho ho ho.
But you are not feeling cheery. You are still trying to manage that natural disaster other people call the death of your loved one.
Well, you can get through this. There is only one "Year of Firsts." After you've made the rounds of all the holidays in the annual calendar (and for heaven's sake, you probably never realized how many holidays there ARE in the course of a year!), it gets easier. You don't think it will, but it will. Each successive year gets just a TINY BIT easier.
Things will never again return to "normal," at least as you had come to define "normal." You have learned by now perhaps that you have to create a new "normal" without your Love. Is life lonelier and sadder without your loved one? Of course it is. Will life ever be the same? No. Can you go on and find some measure of peace and happiness again? Yes. We are resilient creatures. We will go on and recreate new lives, productive lives, and yes, happy lives at some point.
But probably not now. The loss is too fresh. It takes time to mourn, and time to heal. Allow yourself the space and time to grieve. Well-meaning family & friends may try to push you into something you are not ready to do. They may expect you to "move on," or "get over it," or they may insensitively dump their own grief on your shoulders - as if your shoulders are big enough to carry their grief AND yours.
Give them permission to be human. Forgive their well-meaning insensitivity. They probably really want to support you, and don't know quite how.
Most likely, you are doing one helluva job in keeping it all together, all things considered. I know it's not easy. But I hope you are crying - and laughing - when no one is looking, because you are creating a new life from the ashes of your old one, and no matter how many people you have around you, you are doing it alone.
I commend you.
This is the hardest time of year to be without your loved one. Just continue to hold them in your heart with great love; their energy bodies can feel your love, as it always has.
And please be extra gentle and kind to yourself, especially now. May you get through the holidays in as peaceful a manner as you can. Hopefully, next year will be a little easier.